raedwyer
Rae

gardener / writer / oracle + mentor / other-world traveller 🌌🌹feminine initiation and leadership for recovering perfectionists and over achievers. somatic-shamanic guidance. intimacy centred + God-led.

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Last Notes

2025-12-30 13:54:52 UTC

I was hanging out with my ten year old nephew this past week and something went down between us that will stay with me.
He got a make your own comic book set for Christmas and he wanted me to help him. He seemed kinda concerned at the beginning - concerned about getting the front page right. He criticised something he drew. Wanted me to draw stuff for him. Had one (brilliant) idea and then threw that in the bin because he didn’t believe he could do it.
I suggested that he not worry too much about having the whole thing worked out and just play around with some ideas, draw up a few characters and practice, because there was loads of space in the book he had.
I said, in passing: It doesn’t have to be perfect.
And what happened after was fucking wild honestly. Like a stuck tap just got turned on.
He’d drawn a new character within minutes. And I knew it was that sentence because he repeated it back to me several times while excitedly bouncing his ideas off of me:
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
I know from having been a kid once, how deeply words are internalised. Words that the speaker might have forgotten about within seconds of saying them.
But that really cemented it for me. The way he took that in was so instant and powerful.
And it’ll stay with me because I was dominantly raised by a pair of perfectionists - who I love deeply and have gorgeous relationships with now - but as a kid I did not feel like I had permission to make mistakes or get it wrong and it left a pretty enormous gash on my nervous system that I’m still working out to this day.
If there is one thing I wanna teach my kid(s) when I have them, it’s that there is an endless amount of grace available to them for their mistakes.
Because that’s how you learn from them and not repeat the same mistake over and over and over again for years and years on end; you give yourself grace. And that grace is the light that illuminates the lesson.
#nostr #primal #perfectionism #pleb #plebchain #grownostr #pleblife

2025-12-21 18:21:14 UTC

Goodnight texts to my husband where I start with one thing and then it leads to another and then I'm like yeah okay this is gonna get weird but I'm already in too deep 😆
https://blossom.primal.net/c669e3c8269f1b4bb6550dbdc804a476412242bb14ad46eb6b0a1c71ee4c6449.png

2025-12-10 22:26:23 UTC

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Someone I follow described the retrograde as a "neptunian k hole" hahaha

2025-12-10 18:01:26 UTC

Alchemising deep set trauma circuitry and releasing the charge from your body so new energy and creation can flow into you does not need to be a dramatic, cathartic moment.
Sometimes it is. Sometimes wailing and wretching is the authentic expression. But there is a very sneaky thread of perfectionism that can get in here where you believe that unless you have the big release, you must have not resolved the thing.
This is just another way for the problem solving survival mind to stay current. And it gives the wound a bottomless quality that ends up being food for siphoning energies.
Recently I've moved HUGE, ancient, timeline altering things and it's just involved me taking some of the biggest and longest yawns of my life + some random jerky motions in my upper body lol.
Ask your higher self to help you move what is ready to move with gentleness and grace. If you get out of the way, the response will probably surprise you.
#complextrauma #generationaltrauma #consciousness #emotionalintelligence #spiritualawakening

2025-11-28 21:15:48 UTC

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Ohhh cool thank you. So that gives me some choice but still more limited than I thought. I've seen other zaps that are different / have different emojis? Strange.

2025-11-28 20:52:29 UTC

OH I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION:
when I zap people it's set to 42 sats + an "onwards" sentiment. Can I change that? How do I zap more / alter the accompanying comment?
#asknostr #askprimal

2025-11-28 20:42:50 UTC

Nostr I have some questions!
First off, I'm noticing certain accounts that appear to be following, unfollowing and then refollowing my account in a really spammy and honestly slightly unhinged way so I'm wondering if this is actually a notification glitch with the app?
Secondly - I'm wondering if anyone can recommend active hashtags for widening the reach of my work, both on a general and topic-specific level. For example #asknostr and #introductions have been great for some initial connecting and getting settled into the space. Are there any other generalised hashtags that are helpful to use?
More specifically, I wanna connect with spiritual path walkers, medicine women (+ men), and people who're unwinding hustle culture and perfectionism. Does anyone have any knowledge on active and widely used hashtags that fit roughly into this bracket? I'm obvi gonna have a nose at various hashtags feeds but if I can get that question answered without doing loads of trawling I'd be grateful 😁
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE 🌹
#askprimal #asknostr #introductions

2025-11-27 20:12:25 UTC

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Being a square peg in a circle hole culture is a blessing. Ahhh what's the crack? Are you pivoting?

2025-11-27 17:37:14 UTC

A chance convo I had this week lead me to remember that before becoming self employed in my mid twenties, I had been sacked from not one, but TWO jobs. I felt a strange but sweet pang of pride at my unemployability.
It has literally been impossible for me to be an employee.
I’m not proud of what led me to being sacked. I behaved badly lol. And I should have been sacked from a third job really, because I showed up to it still high on drugs, having snorted the last line in the baggy at 5am that morning, more often than I’d like to admit. In fact I’m pretty sure I called my manager by accident once thinking he was a drug dealer and somehow I kept that job.
The bloke was an angel from heaven.
But I do feel some pride or perhaps it is love, for the version of me that was a total train wreck, because she ultimately ensured I never slotted myself into a life I would have been grossly unhappy inside of.
Entrepreneurship has been the unravelling of my fucking life. Had to face some stuff that has had some seriously high security alarm systems built up around it. Really deep set pre-verbal imprints that most people don’t even graze the top of in their lifetime. Some really tricky money stuff. Facing fear after fear after fear. Dimensional contracts. Generational curses.
Spiritual awakening as an extension of entrepreneurship is expert level game play and asks everything of you.
Everything.
And it has been such a privilege to go through that ringer. To know that I won’t get to my death bed and realise that I spent a huge portion of my life doing stuff that I hated.
To be able to spend my time doing things that I love - writing, facilitating, cooking and gardening. To know that I can stay in the game, with myself, no matter what - and that what I am destined for is literally inevitable from that place of staying.
So yeah, all to say, I’m glad I was a dick in my twenties.

2025-11-27 17:11:35 UTC

WHEN ENEMY PROGRAMMING REALISES IT'S LOSING
One of the last, panicked ways that enemy programming will attempt to keep you out of your zone of genius, is by convincing you that you’ll never be free of it.
One of the final frantic scrambles it will make to get you to disqualify yourself from the kingdom, is to whisper that it will always get you in the end.
That there will always be another way that your mind will manage to trick you.
Because, what happens when you stop flinching?
When you become unwavering?
When you live from a cellular knowing that God is always bigger?
When you decide to rest in the recognition of a grace that exists, infinitely, beyond every single mental wall you could possibly ever hit?
It is game fucking over for everything that ever fed on your fear.
Because every single attempt made to get you to slink back into your small-self box will be met by a nervous system that can surrender into the God-space beyond it.
Every single evil eye will be stared down and snuffed out by a soul that remembers.
Your system will be permanently set to: Not today satan.
I’ve watched people step into this location.
Compulsions evaporating mid-sentence.
Obsessive loops collapsing in on themselves.
Old trauma cycles short-circuiting and literally forgetting how to fire.
Innate brilliance re-enlivening faces that looked haunted.
Abundance flowing into the space that control once gripped shut.
Love overflowing, doors flinging open
and timelines bursting into being
because the recipient finally said yes to the thing that is bigger.
Once grace enters your body,
once it envelops and dissolves every single dividing line
that evil ever attempted to draw
between you and your Source,
there is no more forgetting.
No more taking yourself out at the threshold of your next level.
No more selling yourself short and not giving it your all.
No more settling for scraps.
No more denying yourself the fullness of what is meant for you because your protective mechanisms outweighed the truth.
There is only your divine inheritance.
There is only your innate brilliance.
There is only the love of your life,
the creations of your soul
and you having the absolute time of all of your lifetimes.
There is only God, flowing through your body, uninterrupted and unopposed.
Because you locked in, fully, the truth that is always bigger.
-
I'm hosting an event called SURRENDER / CONTROL this Sunday.
Online immersion + recording
Details + book your space via https://raedwyer.thrivecart.com/surrendercontrol/
#spiritualawakening #surrendercontrol #surrender #spiriruality #faith #faithingod #spiritualcoach

2025-11-27 16:57:27 UTC

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Thank you! And thank you for the zap 😁

2025-11-27 13:56:29 UTC

Know something:
Your creative calling and spiritual mission is asking you to become so much bigger than you could possibly even begin to conceive of in this moment.
That's why you only have the very next step.
That is why it is all you will ever have.
Your mind would fucking explode into mush if it had an advance forecast of the enormity of your true size and the size of the life that is gonna meet you as you rise.
It's not a place that your mind can go.
And if you don't go anyway?
If you don't go all in on a life where you only ever have the very next step?
Do I need to tell you?
Do you need another lifetime of this?
Do you want another lifetime of this?
Let go of control.
Let go of how you think you'll be perceived.
Let go of who you think you are.
Let go of the future.
Let go of the past.
And take the next step.
#spiritiualmission #introductions #GM #spiritualawakening

2025-11-27 08:51:31 UTC

She said: “If that happens, I am scared of what my mind is going to do.”
If you could move through the world without a single doubt in your ability to not only be with, but alchemise the hot as fuuccckkk heat of your worst case scenario, how would you be showing up?
How would you be showing up if you weren’t concerned about what your mind would do in the event of x or y?
How would you be showing up if you were no longer preoccupied with constantly managing the constriction in your body, from all of that life force being bottle necked by the grip of your mind?
What would you be creating if you trusted the heat?
If you knew it was taking you deeper and deeper into the mind blowing levels of intimacy, expansion and freedom that you say you want?
I don’t care that you know these things are true intellectually.
The point is that it remains intellectual.
It doesn’t click in the body
because you say:
“I know! I know this!”
And that is the way that your mind,
in self-preservation mode
deflects the truth
and stops the gnosis
from penetrating the heart
and hitting the womb.
That is your mind closing the opening
where you can receive the source code
Where your state of being actually changes
And the penny properly drops:
That your peace
has nothing to do with anything
other than you
and God.
The kind of peace where stuff that used to send you spinning is met, rooted and quiet.
Where emotional debris that used to tear through you, dissolves gently and sometimes even joyfully?!
The kind of peace that becomes a consistent baseline.
Where you finally give yourself over to the current that is transforming you
into a vessel made for endless grace,
every time you get ghosted
or a relationship ruptures
or something doesn’t sell
or an application isn’t accepted
or a proposal doesn’t land
or the boiler explodes
or you crash your car.
Every time you perceive a rejection
every time you’re afraid
every time you put yourself out there
with no guarantee that you’ll be met
every time there’s a curve ball that’s outside of your
c o n t r o l
Peace is yours when you give up the game.
Peace is yours when you quit bargaining with life.
Peace is yours when surrender stops being an idealistic concept
laden with conditions,
and becomes a natural extension
of your agreement to be
u n c o n d i t i o n a l
I'm holding an online immersion this Sunday called s u r r e n d e r / c o n t r o l
I hadn't initially planned to intro my work in here just yet, but if you fancy it - the invite is open.
Details + booking here: https://raedwyer.thrivecart.com/surrendercontrol
❤️‍🔥

2025-11-21 16:52:04 UTC

Entities don’t want you to be seen or supported.
The stuff that attaches to your field and siphons off of your energy, does not benefit from you being with people who can see you clearly.
Hiding patterns, second guessing the desire for connection, and avoiding being seen can point to energies that feed on contraction and fear.
I remember my teacher saying something once about the places where we avoid doing spiritual hygiene - the little thoughts that pop in that have you delay it or put it off. She said:
“Who’s benefitting from that thought?”
Are those thoughts your own?
Siphons thrive in isolation.
They hook into that which remains unwitnessed.
They stay alive inside of projection bubbles such as:
“No-one will understand.”
“No-one cares.”
“I can do this on my own.”
“I don’t need support.”
Extractive energies conceal themselves behind the fog of shame, when we avoid being seen because of shame, we provide them with shelter.
Leaning into and through the persuasion of a narrative that keeps you from getting in front of people who can SEE - be it trusted friends and family or supervisors, mentors or coaches - can be transformative in exposing things that have been looping for a long time.
Connection is LIGHT.
Other people’s light illuminating your shadow.
What lives in the shadows cannot survive that light.
And then your energy gets to be YOURS again.

2025-11-18 11:42:56 UTC

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Oh cool!

2025-11-17 18:31:14 UTC

I reckon the "false God" - what the gnostics called Yaldabaoth (The God of the MATERIAL), the being that is likely harvesting energy - primarily fear - from Earth, is a reflection of a culture that has come to worship the mind as God.
Humans probably invoked it.
I read something recently that suggested that what is happening on Earth "is not by divine design." It really struck me that this kind of stuff is circulating more widely than ever.
The insinuation that what is happening on Earth is somehow outside of divine orchestration - not inherently of source - echoes the characteristic of the fake God at the centre of that story: ARROGANCE.
It is arrogant as fuck to think that a situation or thing is outside of God. That anything could be anything other than by the design of the source of all things. That something that is "not source" could possibly know better.
It is almost comical that a mind virus like that would end up in the collective thought form soup to distract people who are waking up to their direct access. A real cosmic joke. A cheeky wink to the qualities of the God WE HAVE BEEN WORSHIPPING by living inside our heads.
Undivided, storyless presence will show you and imprint into you - in a way that is beyond the comprehension of the mind - EVERYTHING that you need to know.
False narratives that victimise and disempower the human experience cannot survive that.

2025-11-17 18:22:11 UTC

At the height of bingeing on spiritual self development and trauma work in an attempt to fix my perceived brokenness, I stopped reading fiction.
Don't ever do that. If you're doing it right now, put the Van Der Kolk down. Put it down.
Read a story.

2025-11-17 17:19:30 UTC

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Curious - why bloodstone? I am a complete novice with crystals.

2025-11-17 17:18:54 UTC

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Yess in intimate partnership, the healthy, balanced masculine is a container for her surrender.

2025-11-17 15:57:56 UTC

I used to have these strange, recurring dreams as a really young kid that I now realise were my first experiences of erotic life force flowing through me.
I was always being rushed. People needed me to hurry up or they were going to leave and go somewhere without me. The more frantic I got, the more obstacles I was presented with, and the pressure would build.
And then at some point I’d just let go of it. I’d let them leave without me. I’d melt open and merge, ecstatically, into my surroundings.
As I reflect on those dreams, I am acutely aware of this place where having to contort my naturalness to keep up with a break-neck level of urgency, suffocated my flow at a very young age, and buried it under a deep layer of shame.
Shame around my naturalness, around the way I am innately designed to move through the world.
And that has also translated to shame around my sexuality. The upwelling of erotic sensation seemed strange and abnormal to me as I grew up. I didn’t know what it was, but the liminal spaces I have so easily hung out in, were awash with it. And this dynamism between urgency and slowness, control and release, was always woven in.
Recently I had a dream of being bound up and pulled at a great speed through some kind of portal. The complete lack of control and total surrender to whatever had hold of me was SO erotic. I am buzzing with the feeling of it and my heart is liquefying as I type haha. It was wild.
And the less I race through life, the more this energy makes itself known beyond the subconscious soup of my dream world.
Kids intuitively know their pace. And it is promptly indoctrinated out of them.
Few people make it to adulthood without choking down and getting thoroughly brain washed by rush rush rush Koolaid. It is so deeply baked in to everything.
It fires me up when I think about it.
When I think about all the places where my nature has been stifled and shrink wrapped by imbalanced masculine programming, passed down from generation to generation.
A hyper-masculinity that possesses women and binds up their life force. Making them rigid and draining them of their SEX.
I breathe holy fire with my resolve to know that it stops - has stopped - with me.
Because the discovery that those original dreams prophesied, is the well of eros that lives beneath all those sediment layers of control. The wild turn on. The RAPTURE of letting go.
It’s hot AF. And so beautiful. So innocent and pure.
I read really recently that being well fucked has nothing to do with the amount of sex you are having.
True. Well fucked is a relationship with life force flowing through your body.
It is the ownership of your true pace. The pulsing rhythm that can be heard and then relaxed into, when you choose to step out of time with a culture that runs and runs and runs, faster and faster, to keep up with the relentless, propelling force of survival.
It is the depth of the LET GO. The melting and widening oooooze of erotic power unbound by an ancient grip; the intelligence of life finally allowed to seep in.
And it is God, animating the human, finally afforded the space to come in.

2025-11-16 21:20:04 UTC

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This is very cool
#nevent1q…4zwc

2025-11-16 19:49:25 UTC

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Epic!!

2025-11-16 19:47:20 UTC

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So that last part I really resonate with. But perhaps more general too, I guess? Green earth energy feels very physical for me. Like it works directly on my nervous system and organs. Rose feels more connected to my heart / womb fields. I call on the sun for excess mental static. It evolves though. There is a crystalline energy I'm tapping into that I don't have much data on just yet.

2025-11-16 13:49:14 UTC

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I mainly just command to be in my own energy and that anything that isn't mine leave. It really is as simple as commanding it. I connect to the earth and the sun. And I love working with Rose energy. While I understand that some guidance is good for building confidence, what you're drawn to when you turn in and ask is gonna be the most effective (trust your intuition instead of outsourcing) and it will strengthen and refine over time, the more you practice tuning in.

2025-11-15 22:05:02 UTC

When I was leaving my gym earlier, which is bang in the centre of a city, there were literally thousands of people walking through, mostly in the opposite direction to me, from a nearby football stadium.
I’d emerged from a swim/steam in a really deep and gorgeous spot, right on the edge of my period, super open and dropped in. And about ten minutes into the walk, I noticed some thoughts start to loop around themselves and get into a bit of knot.
It didn’t take a minute for me to clear myself and my house when I got in. And what I wanna highlight here, is that even though seeing to my spiritual hygiene removed the density, as it should, I was left with the residue of the thing that got hit. And there is incredible wisdom to that.
I wrote recently that the more evil tries to assert itself, the more it ends up exposing itself. And what it also does, is it exposes the unintegrated part in you, that it can hook into.
The thoughts were relating to a particular thing. And there was an opening after that incident where I could call home the fragment harbouring those thought forms. I could really SEE it. Because the attachment that floated out of that crowd revealed it.
And all of this took basically minutes.
Something like this could have knocked me out pretty hard and absolutely has more than a few times before.
It has been pretty crazy to sit with how costly it has been to move through the world not knowing how to deal with everything that is not mine, for such a long time.
Honestly I think that shit alone makes up 80% of the ADHD/OCD symptoms.
I did most of my life in varying states of distress and going to some pretty destructive lengths to dull down the roaring sensations in my body, thinking it was all “mine” - one of my earliest memories is of feeling the despair of a man I passed in a street.
I also cannot fucking emphasise enough how important practicing scrupulous spiritual hygiene is if you’re highly sensitive.
Implementing good practices around that literally burned off so much nonsense in an instant. SO MUCH. And dealing with the stuff you pick up on the street is pretty easy. You are inherently sovereign. You command it and so it is.
And I actually think that many sensitives fuck around for longer than necessary in this respect, because if they practiced good spiritual hygiene, they’d have to own their power and start operating at a higher level, and it is low key easier to slump through the world with all manner of parasites leeching off you, pretending you’re powerless right?
Ask me how I know hahahaha
But my point here above everything, is that nefarious energy has a cool way of mapping back to you what is up for integration. And allowing that process to shape you is incredibly rewarding. It’s not always easy, but after years of fighting with myself, I know how to draw in and cocoon fragmented parts of me in sometimes seconds.
The more you embrace the wisdom of the unfolding, the more everything that once seemed so complex, begins to simplify.

2025-11-15 22:03:31 UTC

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Thanks for the recommendation. This stuff really fascinates me

2025-11-15 16:28:27 UTC

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As far as nefarious energy goes Earth is the wild west haha

2025-11-15 15:28:23 UTC

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I had to leave a vipassana meditation retreat earlier because I was having ibogaine level visions by day 3. Wound up riding the edge of what could have been a psychosis. Definitely not unrelated. Although Ive had to be careful with the "always more problems to solve" thing. I like that it always getting deeper / higher. There's just always MORE

2025-11-15 15:24:02 UTC

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Interesting! I'd love to know more about working with the earth lines. Good to meet you.

2025-11-15 15:22:09 UTC

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Ooo! Let me hold onto that invitation - I appreciate it. I'll message you. Good to meet you!

2025-11-15 15:15:24 UTC

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It can aye. I think with spiritual transmission you gotta gravitate towards the translation that lands for you because it is essentially the same thing being said in a million different ways, which isn't a bad thing, but if you're not turned on by the way it's being said it gets boring.

2025-11-15 15:13:51 UTC

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Yess I absolutely feel you on that! Good to meet you!

2025-11-14 19:21:08 UTC

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Lovely thank you and yes I've already been in touch with them and got the follow pack 😁

2025-11-14 18:37:38 UTC

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Hiiii!

2025-11-14 18:37:26 UTC

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Lush. Good to meet you!

2025-11-14 17:42:35 UTC

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"I am awake now" can sometimes translate to: "I moved from the ~asleep~ side to the ~conscious~ side" and what that means is, the internal divide is still there. This one has fucked me up hard a few times. Unaddressed internal division - the place in a person that is predisposed to thinking in binaries, left / right being the big one - will make you very predisposed to ideological compliance.
#nevent1q…y3ac

2025-11-14 17:34:53 UTC

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Thank you!!

2025-11-14 17:34:05 UTC

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Amazing!

2025-11-14 17:29:08 UTC

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Thank you so much for signal boosting!!

2025-11-14 17:28:38 UTC

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Thank you 🌹

2025-11-14 14:47:25 UTC

Any other creatives / writers / teachers feel like they are drowning in a sea of bitcoin content? any tips on curation?
I WANNA CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO:
Have a spiritual mission.
Are integrating spiritual awakening.
Are drawn to feminine mysteries and womb work.
Are lane switching out of hustle and hyper-masculine ways of doing into an intuitive and regenerative way of being.
Are interested in masculine and feminine energetics and bringing those principles into balance.
See the world multi-dimensionally and wanna hear stories about outer body experiences, travelling across dimensions and dream working.
About me: My mission is to restore the architecture of divine remembrance in all the places where over-achieving, perfectionism and survival took its place. I help people dissolve loops driven by punishment, shame and separation from God. I hold powerful medicine for fear. My gifts are oracular and shamanic. I write constantly and have been writing constantly since I was a kid.
If we're on a wave length, I'd love to connect with you!
#asknostr #introductions

2025-11-11 16:46:43 UTC

I was camping earlier in the year and on one of the nights, I came face to face with something unsavoury, probably alien, while slipping between waking and sleeping.
Sometimes when I go through the paralysis, my soul doesn’t exit all the way, but I can open my eyes and see the field. What I saw was an ugly, lumpy, ghostly pale being attempting to get to me through my husband.
My first, knee-jerk instinct was to angrily grab it and pull it out, but in doing so I felt a grip around my soul-body tighten. So I let go and just looked at it. Remembering that it couldn’t do anything without my consent or participation.
The being dispersed like smoke. And then, not aware of my body anymore, I find myself in deep space, and I see the outline of my heart. Immediately I put a sheath of golden light around it.
The following months would see me dislodge something hard and metallic placed over the top of my heart space. In its absence, my mind has been able to drop down into my body *consistently* - as a baseline - for the first time basically ever.
The OCD-type mental compulsions have dropped off in a massive way. Which is miraculous, because the root of some of those pathways have existed ever since I can remember.
Last night I had a dream where I heard a voice in my head tell me that my soul could be harmed. (Not possible, but the soul could create a reality where it simulates that if it believes it.)
And I felt the fear penetrate. It is a creeping, constricting feeling in my body that is visceral as fuck even in the dream space, that I have felt many times before. But instead of me becoming engulfed in darkness and the dream space collapsing, I spot it, gather my focus, and set about commanding my space.
I see arms come over my shoulders - that same ghostly pale colour, and lumpy, with long finger nails. But they can’t touch me. I know what it is immediately.
A man comes to my assistance and places his hand over my heart and speaks out commands with me.
And I wake up.
It has been quite a trip to recognise that I have been under intense and unrelenting psychic attack for pretty much my entire life.
And moreover, that more attempts to penetrate my field are gonna happen, the brighter and clearer I get.
The more my mind drops back beyond the obsession and problem solving.
The more I recognise the unfuckwithable nature of my soul.
The more I learn let go of control.
AND, the more sovereign I become, the more I recognise that the attempts that the opposition makes to reassert itself are the ways it EXPOSES itself.
I don’t speak in terms of good vs evil very often but it is useless to pretend that this dichotomy isn’t a part of this reality and that dimensional warfare isn't at the root of a lot of psychic illness.
And my point here, is that the more rooted in the truth that you get, the more you identify with what you actually are, the more evil just gets caught with its trousers down, while scrambling to stay relevant.

2025-11-08 14:17:13 UTC

I was good friends with a bloke in university, and it would take some years after we’d long lost touch to realise that he was a compulsive liar with some pretty deep set narcissism.
I really don’t love the word because I think it’s thrown around a lot. And also because I think we all have narcissistic tendencies, sometimes more overt that we even realise, and we’d do well to get honest about that instead of calling everyone else one.
But here I am anyway lol
I remember him workshopping a piece in our creative writing class, and it got ripped to bits because it was a short fiction about child abuse, but it was just utterly devoid of any complexity. It was so shallow and strange. I’m almost certain he wasn’t telling his life story although I know some will argue that trauma can breed a kind of detached story telling. It read like the lyrics of a death metal track. Just gratuitously grim for the sake of it. He listened to a lot that music.
That workshop probably should have been a sign.
But I’m reflecting on it now because I made a few close friends during that time who were frequently and flagrantly untruthful and destructively self absorbed.
(I don’t think self absorption is an issue - even healthy - but I do think it can become destructive i.e damagingly narcissistic)
And do you know what was funny?
So was I.
And more specifically, I wasn’t in the house. Just wasn’t there. I related with people who - albeit unconsciously - sensed that their nonsense could go unnoticed with me, because I was so outside of myself. Could barely see a car coming - inches from running me over - because I was so far away from myself most of the time.
(What's funny, is that I have the gift of sight.)
I came to uni at the height of the chronic disassociation that would lead to a break down at the end of it.
Unsurprisingly, post mental break, those friendships fell away, very quickly. Almost all in one go. It was like I’d come out of a really deep fog, one that I knew even then was eventually gonna kill me if I didn’t shift.
I’m pondering it because I’m pondering this way that we can carry the exact kind of velcro that hooks into other people’s.
Cultivating presence - the kind of presence that is so clear and quiet it transforms everything it touches - is how you become velcro-less. Because when you see that clearly, nothing gets past you, and deception knows when it won’t get away with it.
I chose not to see for a while because I didn’t have the emotional capacity or maturity to hold the truth. And when you see the truth, there are places where you are also gonna need to start telling it.
It’s funny that my core gift is sight and also it is brilliant. I had the exact initiation around it that I was supposed to have.

2025-11-05 09:48:07 UTC

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Unearned wisdom is often what it is aye. It's why many can't integrate what comes through / don't really change in meaningful or sustained ways after

2025-11-04 12:07:08 UTC

“Peak performance” is experiencing life as it is.
You don’t need a nootropic supplement cocktail or to flood your system with psychedelics every other month. You don’t need a coach or a mentor and I am saying that as someone who is a mentor lol
You just need to accept that behind the layers upon layers of filters that you have been fashioning and donning since childhood, is a presence so clear, that when it is allowed to shine through without any resistance, the entire body-mind-soul system moves into a state of balance.
Recognise that this exists. That it is literally always there. That it is literally what you are, at all times and in all moments.
And if the supplements, psychedelics and human support systems genuinely assist you in forming an unshakeable connection with that recognition, if they help expand your capacity to BE in that no-filter state, lush. Crack on.
Your best innovations live in the unfiltered moment.
Your genius lives in the unfiltered moment.
The answers to your health and healing live in the unfiltered moment.
Your highest timeline is the unfiltered moment.
#spirituality #presence #consciousness #spiritualawakening #thepresentmoment

2025-11-04 11:53:27 UTC

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lol!! no way

2025-11-02 13:21:22 UTC

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Thank you!!

2025-11-01 17:42:15 UTC

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Mhhhmmm it is chilling

2025-11-01 17:40:19 UTC

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Thank you!

2025-11-01 17:40:11 UTC

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Suppppp

2025-11-01 17:39:54 UTC

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Good to meet you!

2025-11-01 17:37:08 UTC

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Super yuk. And I'd actually like to #asknostr, specifically the UK lot, what fiat banks you'd recommend in the mean time? I bank w NatWest and a few things have happened recently that have nailed to the wall that I don't want their hands all up in my shit anymore.
#nevent1q…26lz

2025-11-01 16:37:12 UTC

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Thanks so much for the zaps + for resharing Sam!!

2025-11-01 12:30:27 UTC

One thing that I have learnt in states of sleep paralysis is that the more you try to fight evil, the more you feed it.
I wanna be very clear before I go on, that the "fight" remains an absolutely adequate and wise response in the human world, on occasion. If someone is trying to harm you and you are in immediate danger, fucking protect yourself. Act. That might involve a fight.
But also know that most movements to "fight" are pointless.
Know that at the centre of the war, there is no fight.
There is only you, deciding to relinquish control.
I spent the early part of my life in terror and under a lot of psychic attack, in the in-between state before sleeping.
Then I started fighting. I howled and raged at the demonic presences infiltrating my field and tormenting me.
Then I understood the absolute sovereignty of my soul, and I got still. I let go.
And the things that had bothered me my entire childhood and most of my adult life disappeared, in a second.
From here I learned that I could "pass through" sleep paralysis and pass over to the other side. And on other side, it got made abundantly to me that n o t h i n g can even scratch a soul, unless YOU believe it. And then you will create it. Because that's what you believe.
The war within cannot be fought against. It will rage harder the more you resist it, the more you try to CONTROL it. Continuing to feed the war inside you is the way you consent to EVERYTHING that is happening outside of you and in the world. Every single person has a part in it.
Relinquishing control is one of the deepest and most transformative graces you can give yourself and by extension of that, the world.
Depravity is the only perceived "out" for a being that believes they have fallen so far from grace, that the only other option is to face a God that they think will never accept them back into the whole.
Evil becomes the only other expression because at least in evil they can feel as though they belong to something. The extreme and insidious forms of control enacted by forces of evil are frantic attempts to forge solidity and safety where a true belonging to wholeness is absent.
And that mirrors all the places where you control. Where you contort and grip. You will cling onto the seams of every place where your wholeness was forgotten in an attempt to find solid ground.
Release control and let the ground emerge.
You have to go first.
And when you release control, know that your deepening awakening is uploaded to the grid that is awakening this planet.
That the grid is fortified every time you let go.
And eventually that grid will become so bright and solid, and solid in it's brightness,
that there will be no war left to fight.
#spiritualawakening #astraltravel #soul #spirituality #consciousnesd #sleeparalysis #letgoofcontrol #letgo

2025-11-01 12:28:00 UTC

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Welcome! And thank you for the advice 😁

2025-11-01 09:02:05 UTC

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I've been wondering how to answer this question succinctly. For men (and for the masculine current in men and women) the lane switch is coming out of mind and descending into the body. Into the heart and for women, also into the womb. It is a process that is enormously simple in one sense and yet there is the most astronomical amount of complexity that prevents that from happening, because the mind is complex. Because all the programming and complexes and narratives set up especially in the first 5 years of being alive are complex. and messy as fuck. At the core of it there is a presence - a way of being - that is so devoid of all mental filtering and narrative, the mind body soul system just... balances. Naturally and automatically. It's about cultivating that presence and dealing with everything that blocks it.

2025-10-31 18:52:01 UTC

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I hear you. And I agree, translation is... so complicated.

2025-10-31 11:06:58 UTC

You don't need to do tons of belief and identity work when you learn to tap into the presence and being that is beyond all of that.
There is a naturally emerging architecture of belief systems, identity structure and high frequency thought forms that automatically organise themselves around a soul that has remembered itself.
There's nothing necessarily wrong with actively rewriting narratives, but at the end of the day that is only occurring at the level of the mind.
All of that is effortlessly taken care of when your commitment is to learning how to rest in the place beyond the mind.
#GM #spiriruality #consciousness #presence

2025-10-31 09:07:16 UTC

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I have not heard of nagualism. Very interesting - will look it up. I wouldn't say I'm a big "seeker" these days. My wheelhouse is truth as a direct experience. Which paradoxically asks you to stop seeking, which has not been a walk in the park for me hahaha. I agree tho - I think having some scientific explanation definitely fosters an opening in people who might have otherwise been closed.

2025-10-31 09:00:26 UTC

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Oh no, there is no man hating here. I love men and masculinity is fucking beautiful. Imbalanced masculinity becomes oppressive and tyrannical. In the same way imbalanced femininity is emotionally drunk and collapsed. Men and women can express both things. My particular area of interest and experience is hyper-masculinsation. Key word being "hyper". And that's super interesting re the sleep paralysis. Time deffo bends in the in-between.

2025-10-30 20:33:03 UTC

Understanding the non-physical / other worlds that I have always had one foot in, deeply transformed the way I be in and relate to the physical world.
I've been dream working for well over a decade at this point. Dreamed wildly ever since I can remember.
I began learning how to work with sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming as doorways to outer body experiences last year. Sleep paralysis has haunted me since forever. Never dreamed it would be the key to learning how to die while I'm still alive.
And the more I discover about my SELF in the in-between, the more fully I Iand HERE.
I learned that anything I experienced in sleep paralysis and outer body states that scared me or seemed off were just projections of fear and when I stopped running that frequency (mainly through learning to relinquish control) those projections would just... disappear into literal thin air.
And whaddaya know, the less I fear there, the less I fear here.
Experiences that I've had in the liminal spaces between waking and sleeping have allowed me to re-route and ROOT IN enormous streams of erotic life force that were being leaked out from my pain body and siphoned.
I've had soul surgery and removed something rather unpleasant and metallic from my third eye. Been bathed in heavenly waters. Been sang to by angelic priests and had songs of light sung through me.
I've made music with my mind and layered sounds and instruments atop one another, like it was something I've always known how to do.
I've worked out and re-written deep set ancestral stories around expression, shame and sterility through changing the way I respond to recurring dreams, while in them.
And everything has served to bring me into relationship with a reality that I had such a hard time accepting. Because deep down I always knew "magic was real" and it has fucking exasperated me no end, since I was a tiny kid, to have repeatedly choked down the messaging that we are confined to a mechanical, material, deterministic realm.
What I have observed over the years in myself and in working with people is that those us with one foot in another world can get more than a little victimised by the streams of information coming in from other places and refuse participation, which will cut you off from enormous amounts of life force and prevent big fragments of your wholeness from clicking into your soul body.
I know this is at least one of the reasons why I used to wake up in the morning feeling seventeen different shades of terrible.
So many of us learned to shut it all down early on because the culture we were immersed in denied our experience.
Materialist dogma is the biggest cultural gaslight to ever exist.
And I think it's why lots of really magical people who're perhaps even quite well established in their magic, continue to crawl back into the hellscape of self denial, fear and doubt. Or just don't fly their freak flag generously enough because they are scared of sounding insane.
And the core piece tying the myriad of experiences that I've had together is that the more I let go of punishment programming and the distorted, tyrannical masculine conditioning at the forefront of the materialist lie - the more I learn to embody unconditional love - the more my perception opens up. The more that is revealed. The stranger it gets.
If you resonate with this - its because your soul came to remind the world that reality is stranger than fiction.
Come say hi
#introductions #esoteric #consciousness #spirituality #dreamwork #astralrealms #spiritualawakening #GM #astralrealms #magicisreal

2025-10-29 16:55:55 UTC

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What does GM mean?

2025-10-29 10:03:09 UTC

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hello!!

2025-10-28 17:51:04 UTC

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All. Of. This.

2025-10-28 16:16:17 UTC

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Ahhh wonderful! Good to meet you and good to be here!

2025-10-28 16:14:44 UTC

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Mmm thank you so much for sharing. Living deliberately is my whole thing. Good to meet you.

2025-10-28 16:13:00 UTC

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Indeed! Good to connect ☺️

2025-10-28 16:12:26 UTC

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Brilliant, that's what I'm here for

2025-10-28 16:11:45 UTC

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Hullo!!

2025-10-28 16:11:32 UTC

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Hello! Nice to meet you!

2025-10-28 12:25:40 UTC

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Perfectt thank you!

2025-10-28 12:25:05 UTC

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Thank you for connecting, its lovely to hear from people!

2025-10-27 19:47:07 UTC

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Ahh thank you so much this is SUPER helpful

2025-10-27 19:46:09 UTC

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Thank you 🌹

2025-10-27 18:19:50 UTC

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Oh and THANKS FOR THE SATS!!

2025-10-27 18:16:33 UTC

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Thank you 😁 lovely to meet a home steader. I'm not at that point yet but I managed and am currently expanding a garden for my husband's business and it feels like training for eventual self sufficiency

2025-10-27 18:14:32 UTC

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Thank you, I'll take a look!

2025-10-27 18:13:44 UTC

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Sounds sexy as fuck. Thank you for the welcome and nice to meet you 😁

2025-10-27 18:05:53 UTC

Hey everyone?! I'm new to this space and feel like I'm on Bambi legs, like I don't know the rules of the game or if there even are any rules?! 😳
Mostly I wanna connect and have conversations. I wanna learn a bit more about what it means to do social media in a decentralised way.
I am a mentor and writer so I also wanna share about the things I am really passionate about.
I don't really know where to start. I'd love to find and connect with people who're on a spiritual path and feel like their creative calling / purpose work is intrinsically connected to that path. If you're a recovering perfectionist / overachieving type, you'll probably resonate with my writing.
I stand for presence and connection. I don't want this platform to just be an outward direction of stuff. I wanna get to know people.
Come say hi?
#asknostr #GM #introductions

2025-10-27 13:32:58 UTC

.....lol
https://blossom.primal.net/e3d1291c0629a64bf3f194501d550e63ae69994fdc773592c279fa6e5413fe00.png

2025-10-27 13:32:30 UTC

The revolution is feeling zero urgency when you have nothing to say.
The revolution is moving without hesitation when the directives flow through you like clear running water.
The revolution is relaxing into periods of "no external outcomes" and letting the space replenish your resources in a way that no material gain ever could.
The revolution is your actions being released from the grip of attachment, where the action itself becomes its own nourishment and anything that lands as a result is icing on the cake.
The revolution is cultivating a presence so clear and quiet that the virtual reality of the mind crumbles away and the gentle ecstasy of your forever-being reveals itself.
The revolution is to practice letting go of trying to get anywhere so completely, that you feel the flow of life carrying you.
The revolution is learning to luxuriate so fully in your watery, feminine, cyclic, "inconsistent" routines, emotions and ways of being in the world, that shame melts away and you feel truly safe to exist as you are.
The revolution is feeling the original heartbreak of masculine betrayal all the way through, restoring unconditional faith and allowing God to lead.
The revolution is the transformation you undergo when your freedom becomes the sole / SOUL priority - and your relationships, your body and your body of work become a testament to your self-actualisation, as opposed to things you low-key try to control in a bid to feel okay.
The revolution is the death of perfectionism giving birth to your mastery.
https://blossom.primal.net/983bc3d00d25297c753ac931a172485ae85fb202d45b13b18f2bf1d5960e1756.png